Raychel was born like a southern storm. Surprising, powerful, terrifying, and absolutely, breathtakingly beautifully. Labor with RJ was jolting in many ways: it went so much faster than I had anticipated, it hurt in a way I couldn’t have expected and the place my mind went to was unlike any other. Like many initiations mine into Motherhood was both a shock and a joy. And honestly, I remember it as the best day of my life.
I have lamented that I wasn’t really present with God {or anything} and I have looked back and wished that were not the case, but… I trust God was there. And perhaps my first labor experience could not have gone any other way. I don’t know, but I do know God is so gracious and has definitely redeemed the pain and the work in such huge ways. So that even if I could have done it differently, He’s made it so that I am able to truly cherish the experience.
And it taught me many things, not the least of which that I need to prepare to meet God in labor. I have no idea what it will look like. Or if I will be able to submit myself and my spirit to God in the midst of it all. I remember feeling so out of control and it’s hard to imagine what it would be like to invite God there. In light of how I remember things, I have some kind of crazy desires for this labor…
I want to rejoice.
I want to worship Him through song.
I want to cry out to Him and depend on Him for strength.
He has so clearly revealed Himself lately as my loving Father and closest Friend. He saves me daily and I so desperately want to use this to honor Him and grow closer to my Beloved. He has taught me that it is His habit to meet me when I reach the end of myself and I cannot think of a time that more swiftly and irrevocably happens in my life than in labor.
So if you would, please pray with me that God will help this labor – however fast or slow, mild or intense – to be a testament to Himself. I’ll be honest, I’m not confident in my ability to overcome the storm of labor. I am surrounding myself with people I trust greatly to pray and encourage me to that end at the birth, part of my “nesting” is writing scripture around the house to fill it with His encouragement and I’m trying to generally prepare, talking to God about it now, but to be a corny Christian, I most definitely “covet your prayers” in this.
And if you have any advice or encouragement about laboring for Jesus {hey, new movement??} or questions about anything I’ve said please comment!
{P.S. My sweet sister, Tessa, bought me a book called Redeeming Childbirth by Angie Tolpin. I’m only a few chapters in, but so far it is a wonderful encouragement and I would recommend it to any Christian Mommas wanting to well… have a redeemed childbirth! lol}
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