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 When he packed his things in that old Cat bag and I made sure to fold the clothes over a photo in a frame it felt familiar. When he drove away and my heart couldn’t take the burden it was an old feeling. When I sobbed into Samson I felt like I was home again – bitterly.

But when the pain subsided quickly. When I went outside to get the coffee my friend had brought over. When I took my daughter upstairs for a good long visit with her Auntie. When I was checked in on, brought food to (McDonald’s. Twice. By separate people.), when I spent the night laughing. Those things are new. Those things are appreciated.

I know what it’s like to be alone. I know what it’s like to say goodbye. I know what it’s like to cherish time together. I’m now learning what it’s like to be surrounded. I’m learning what a normal business trip looks like. I’m learning that time apart doesn’t mean bombs and fear and isolation.